12 years and 10 months ago..

Sometimes it defies belief that we graduated high school that long ago.

Two years ago I skipped the high school reunion, I think as a form of punishment for myself. I lived 15 minutes from where it was being held, which was only one of the reasons I didn't bother to show. I knew that people I graduated with had done a lot with their lives; at least, the people I would want to see. I, in my opinion, had done nothing. I had finally graduated with a near-useless degree the previous fall, had only just begun working at a job that could realistically be called the first real job I ever had, had no family to speak of, and had no grand plans. I decided that since I would mostly be listening, and not talking, there was no point in pouring salt in the wound.

Was that stupid? To an extent, I'm sure it was. However, I compare myself to the other - let's say "achievers" - of that class and I didn't see much in the way of comparison at all. Coming up on two years later, I've managed to at least move away from my hometown and stick with the job, even though it's still miles away from where I'd like to be (that imaginary, hypothetical place that doesn't even have a name. And why does my blog spell check dislike doesn't?).

(Note: during the writing of this post I switched back to my old keyboard. It's noticeably more comfortable, has more cool buttons, and was just a little dirty.)

Somewhere in here I wanted to provide relevance and/or a point. Yesterday I stumbled upon the MySpace/blog/etc of my major high school crush. Every once in a while I take a shot at looking her up online, but never had any success. It's...weird, I guess is the word, how reading the words of someone can completely alter your perception of them, even though you knew them for 3 years back in the day but never really suspected the depths of their character.

I subscribe to a fair bit of nostalgia; I keep mementos from years past, even the ones that aren't tokens of terribly great memories or times in my life. I'm not sure why that is, in the end. And I have a very hard time just letting people go when they clearly are not important to my life - or is it that they are, and I haven't yet determined why?

This certainly turned into a ramble.