Crossroads...again.

Well, I certainly didn't expect to find myself in this position. Not again. I think it's worse this time. At 31 years of age, I am unemployed, have no terribly marketable job skills - that I want to use - and sit on a college degree that without real experience is largely useless. How did I come to this point?

Going into the Pitney job, I knew it was not a career move for me. It was the only place that offered me a job when I needed a job, and it was interesting and diverse enough in daily routine that I didn't mind too much. They flew me around the country, set me up with a retirement account, and generally made working life pleasant enough.

Then I moved to Oregon.

What a difference 20 months makes, huh? The back story of why I lost my job doesn't really matter at this point. It simply brought about a long, hard look at my future a little earlier than I anticipated - and not by my own choice. I'm not in dire straits, at least not yet. Unemployment is kicking in close to my take home pay, which is awesome. I have a good sum remaining in retirement that is accessible, should I really need it. Money isn't really the issue, except when it comes to school.

I registered for school. Community college in Oregon costs over 3x what it does in California ($78 a unit). I registered for 3 classes, 10 units, and with fees I owe almost $900. It's baffling to me, but that's the system here. I can get the money for it, though I'm hoping that my lack of actual income will help fix my pleas for aid.

No, dear readers, what prompts this long-overdue soul search is more personal. Some of you may know that for some time up here, I failed to produce a social life. I didn't make any friends. I dated, but over time (and after nothing came of it), I knew that I just wanted some people with whom I could explore, adventure, hang out. I met a cool girl at work, and decided very quickly that I wanted nothing more than friend out of it. Less hassle and potential embarrassment. It worked out well, after I found out she was engaged. She watched Zoey for me during my birthday trip, and I hoped it would lead to some weekends of actually getting out of the house and having company. Silly me! No amount of suggestion seemed to gain any traction on this front. Communication remained semi-constant, but over time her claim of not being "just your Facebook friend" started to ring hollow. Perhaps after the last attempt, I should have picked up on the hint. I just suck with hints. Soon after, I found that not only was I not anything more than a Facebook friend - I wasn't even that any more. Deleted, unceremoniously.

Which leaves me back at square one - nay, square zero. I'm still friendless, I'm sick of going to OMSI and the coast and the movies alone, and now I don't even have a job. I was so excited that I had made a friend, and now that has been exposed as a total fraud. The question is, then, why should I stay here? Oregon has brought me nothing but frustration, the amazing 75 degree August weather notwithstanding. I can't stay here for weather. Besides, when it does get hot, I don't have any way to cool down.

The school program would take 2 or 3 quarters to complete, leading me into the spring. My lease is up in December, though I have not inquired as to the possibility of economic distress allowing an early move. Let's say I move back to California. I'm not an in-state resident anymore, so school would cost too much to be worth it until about six months later, I imagine. [Quick research yields other possibilities] Non-resident fee waivers as well as a possibly more lax residency requirement may make that less critical. There appears to be a method for continuing to receive Oregon unemployment after moving out of state - presumably for work searching purposes.

If I can move back, still get money, and pay a lot less for school, is that the smart move? How much more time do I give this place? How likely is it that I can find something related to the program I am hoping to attend in Sacramento versus Portland? Is Sacramento an interim destination? Was this a huge waste of time?

If I start school here, meet some people, get those stupid volunteer applications in, and turn things around a little, would that be enough? How long am I willing to give that chance? Have I already given it too much time?