It's like I constantly write about only myself. Man, people must get tired of that.
Tonight's entry will deal with 3 major points. Yes, it's Friday night and I'm sitting at home writing a blog. This is my life here.
Point number 1 is something I mentioned to Alicia today while talking to her. I was able to summarize my experiences living in Oregon with the following phrase: "Something good happened! Just kidding." I thought about it a little more, and it's oddly accurate. I was just trying to make light of the fact that the job I thought I had gotten this week fell through and I was feeling pretty bummed. Thinking on it more, though, renders it kinda valid for more than just this one experience. If one were so inclined, one could even classify my original purpose for moving here as one of these moments. I did move here for a job that never officially existed, after all, which nobody told me about until I was 2 weeks on the job. Something good happened! Just kidding.
Then there was Stormy. Yeah, I still think about her. It's sad. But I was telling people about her; I was excited. It was good. Then it ended. The next time I got excited was when I thought I had finally made a friend. Just kidding! Then this job came up out of the blue, sounded like a good fit, and I was ready to go next week. Just kidding!
The only good thing I have gotten from Oregon is Zoey. Maybe that's silly, but I haven't ever explained about how low maintenance this cat is. She makes me feel guilty for being lazy, because she never misbehaves. She has never once failed to use the litter box; she has never had a hairball or otherwise thrown up; she has never been picky about food; she hasn't overtly ruined anything - the couch was already damaged. She lets me get by without cleaning out her litter box for days. I'm grateful. I've lived with cats that could learn something from her.
On to point number 2. I've finally been able to put some kind of categorical label on why I really dislike things like grocery shopping - it's because no matter how good a job you do, you just have to do it again at some point. That bothers me. I figure it's also why I hate shaving, and cleaning. You can do it, but you'll just have to do it again. It feels like a silly joke. I like doing something and having it being done.
Finally, we come to point number 3. I don't fear rejection anymore; it's the recovery from rejection, the embarrassment of trying to smoothly exit, that I fear. When you hit on someone and/or ask them out, and you get shot down, what's the play? Turn around and walk away? My first instinct is to play it off, or possibly address the elephant in the room and make fun of myself. But it's still mortifying. The only reason I bring it up is because of the friendly, ultra-cute cashier at the store tonight who I would have enjoyed getting to know better, except I was scared stiff about what I might do/say if she turned me down. Yeah - not that she might turn me down, but how I'd react to that. Is that just bizarre??
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2 comments:
Sometimes the inherent self-centeredness of blogs gets to me as well. But then I realize if I didn't write about my own life, I'd have no material. :) I'm the opposite about grocery shopping. I look at every time like a new opportunity. The grocery store is one of the few places where I feel like if I really want it, I can afford anything in the store. That kind of freedom isn't something I feel at the mall. Maybe this is me being self-centered. Sorry.
Ask her out. Be yourself. Funny works well.
Also, from what I understand, girls usually give a guy at least one chance. Being flat out rejected for a date repeatedly is unlikely. One way to look at this is that eventually, the odds will be in your favor.
-Gluten-free E
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