You know that feeling; famously referred to as "butterflies in the stomach", except when it's not a positive feeling, then I suppose it means the butterflies are flying into each other and dropping to the ground.

I was randomly looking at Youtube (after watching the A capella "Africa" video again) and found a video about Portland. Part of the video and some of the comments referenced Voodoo doughnuts, which is a big deal up there; it's also one of the places she put on my sightseeing map of Oregon, and where she had a picture taken and posted online - prior to my rage deletion.

I got that little stirring feeling.

What I can't figure out is why. Why is this still bothering me? I thought maybe I came to a conclusion last night, and perhaps I just need to let that take hold, but really....it's been almost 4 months after something that lasted mere days and part of me refuses to move past it. This is incredibly frustrating for me, not because it's getting in the way of meeting people, but because it's not like me to have such emotional reactions. I truly believe that it simply moved far too quickly, but only because of how quickly it disappeared. I assume that I passed a point where I was completely at ease, and then it wasn't there anymore. And in the end, none of it was really meaningful...to her? Is that what really gets me?

I don't know what epiphany is required to file it away and forget about it.