Missing the mark

I'm not sure if it was having visitors this weekend that reminded me of what I left behind, or just the continued realization that things have, so far, not really worked out the way I wanted them to; either way, I find myself bummed. The problem is that Salem is not conducive to a socially shy, almost-30 single guy who knows nobody here, and my own hangups on trying to meet people. This is why I was hoping to land in Portland, because the opportunities abound. I was not intending on spending my free time on weekends in a different city, but I wonder what alternative I have?

Kristen and Krista's visit here forcefully reminded me of all the things I don't have here, but I don't know what to do about it. I suppose there is no quick way to solve it. I like that over time I gain very close friends, but I haven't known the K's that long, and so their being here was probably not as reassuring as a visit by someone else - say Alicia. To keep with my history means it will take a while to meet, befriend, and grow close to people here...and the great deal of time that requires just seems daunting now.

I do not waver on the fact that i chose to come to Oregon, and that it's where I want to be. I think I made it harder on myself in the end, and wonder if I am equipped to deal with what I must be able to do.